Not So Positive Day...

Not So Positive Day...

     Sometimes, it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do is to be positive.  No matter what side of the bed you rise from, it's still on the downslope.  Has that happened to you?

     Lately, it's happened more than not.  I put my feet to the floor and I barely move.  I look out the window at the sunny day and I don't want that walk like I used to.  Or, I get going good and something occurs that makes the rest of the day seem like a foot in the grave.  I'm so tired of it.

     On a more recent/personal note, I have been working hard on a dream of mine.  I have been praying on it and pushing- then suddenly, it happened.  I finished my book!  I was thrilled!  Well, before it was completed, I was researching some publishing companies.  I wanted to start submitting my manuscript to see if anyone would go for it.  Many companies aren't accepting at this time.  It's frustrating when you go from one company to the other and everyone is saying the same thing.  You can't walk through the door if you can't even get your toe wedged, yeah?

     Well, one day I found a couple publishers.  One waited a week and sent me a contract.  I was shocked outta my gourd!  I went crazy with excitement.  Then yesterday my bubble was burst!  Another company called and when I told them I was sitting on an offer, he said just as easy as ordering a burger, "Oh from "X" company?"  I was like, wha?  How'd you know?  And he told me the gimmick.  He said they were legit but they did that to everyone!  He explained the process to me and my confidence plummeted.

     So what happened?  I felt like a fool!  I wasn't wanted like I thought; I was just needed for the funds.  'You wash my back I was yours' kinda deal.  I was so bummed.  The thing is, they're a Christian company that was interested but they didn't really consider me like I thought they had.  It wasn't my story that caught them, it was the possibility of money coming through.

     It set the tone for my entire day.  I was bummed and ate whatever.  I knew it was wrong but I just couldn't help it.  I didn't just eat, I snacked all day long.  Until I thought my way out of the hole.  

     I realized they still do everything I want, it just wasn't going to be in the sort of process I thought.  I could get some notoriety and book signings in and still sell myself with back-up from a reputable company.  I could still achieve my dream!

     I just need to decide which company to run with.  I found the positive in the negative.  I can still invest in myself and get my book on shelves- Christian shelves!  I even think it's good enough to slide onto the secular list but I'll just have to see.  It's a great tale- but I am the writer, so I'm a bit biased.  lol

     The thing is, I am looking on the brighter side of this situation.  Just like I am for my weight.  I'm back on track and not feeling depressed anymore.  I have to see things as they are: an opportunity.  Just like my book dream, my weight has to stay positive.  If I start off on a bad foot, everything falls and  I can't let myself fall.

     I will lose my weight and I will get my book published.  I will stay positive.  I'm not sure which contract I will sign but I do know I'm losing weight at my weigh-in this Saturday!